In this post I am investigating the sarcasm character. I am sure everyone has a different approach to using sarcasm in their speech, but here is mine.
If I self honestly look at the times I use sarcasm there is a few feelings/emotions I find as my starting point.
The first point is when I am experiencing a sad/embarrassment emotion and as the opposite polarity I begin to use sarcasm in order to cheer me up. This experience used to happen to me a lot when I was younger. I remember one experience where I was rollerblading in the park (I was 15) with my friend, and I fell in front of those guys with whom we were hanging out with at the time. I liked one of the guys and when I fell I experienced a huge embarrassment. My friend and I went home ( I also hurt myself) and I was more concerned about me falling in front of the guys than my physical injury. I was crying until I could no longer cry at which point the sarcasm kicked in and began to make fun of the guys and laughing so hard that I could not breathe. I have not experienced this point of me using sarcasm in a long time since those kind of feelings are at minimum now-a-days (thanks the the tools I have been using given at Desteni for self change).
The second point when I use sarcasm is a very fresh one and very common. It is something I really need to look into as it my language transforms from a point of joking around to sarcasm and laughing at the expense of anther's "misfortune". This happens within our "friendship" group of people because it is a level of comfortability and expecting the other person to not get offended. Of course I am not the only one using sarcasm and it is often used towards me. When it is used towards me I have no particular inner reactions (at least not as I used to), however I catch myself in how, if we look from the side there is no real conversation happening, just us insulting each other. I mean is this the only way we can have a laugh? Now I am not saying that I should stop using sarcasm in my life, simply clear and change my starting point. Because lets face it, if we are all in agreement to use sarcasm on each other then there is no issue other than our starting points.
So here are some starting points I use sarcasm:
-To be funny
-To keep a "conversation" going
-To have something to say
-Open up a "conversation"
-When feeling irritated/annoyed with another and expressing/hiding my irritation through sarcasm so that the other person knows I am just "joking around" even if I am not (which is most of the time).
-When feeling irritated it is much easier to address something in a sarcasm form than to sit down and discuss.
-Using sarcasm gives the impression of a "smart ass" who just needs to make a comment even if it had no valuable input.
So lets see how all of those starting points have a reaction built within them. They are all in order to present a character to another and hide behind with using sarcasm.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use sarcasm with the starting point of hiding and presenting a character for others to be amused by/ to be not offended by/ to express my anger/irritation/annoyance/ to avoid having a discussion about the issue/problem.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use sarcasm in order to keep a "conversation" with another, not realizing that there IS no real conversation going on other than empty words.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have the image of people using sarcasm as being "smart asses" and funny, which gives me a way of entertainment often in the expense of another.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself NOT to realize that words can hurt people and can built and shape how people see themselves in accordance to what they accept themselves to be in their mind which is often triggered by someone else's words and since people are not aware of how to deal with those emotions/feelings (hence no Desteni support to open their eyes) they will take those words to heart and accept this as a mind illness and depression, self delusion, loosing self confidence to the point where sarcasm becomes a point of bullying a person which is plain abuse.
I commit myself to use sarcasm with the starting point to have fun with another or ease with whom we have agreed to use sarcasm as a form of joking around, however NOT as a conversation filler, as expression of anger/irritation and annoyance, not to appear funny to others or ending hurting others.
I commit myself to use sarcasm with actual awareness and not throwing around empty words.
When I catch myself using sarcasm as any of the above mentioned starting points, I stop, I breathe and correct myself, I direct myself to stop the use of such sarcasm and if it means to exit the conversation with people then so be it.
I commit myself to addressing when someone else is using sarcasm towards me that I do not wish to be part of or simply it is not time to be joking around, but having a discussion or listening to each other and taking/hearing what I or the other person has to say with consideration to receive information/conversation that is being shared.
I commit myself to bring awareness to others when they use sarcasm with the starting point of a reaction (which is always the case with people whom are not aware of this point-just like I would not be aware of this point if I had not known any better than to self correct).